Bouncing Back from Rejection

It really sucks when the job you really wanted, hoped for, and worked your butt off trying to get sends you a rejection letter (or call or just ignores you). When you’re down in the dumps and vulnerable, disappointment has a way of quickly spiraling into a pity party. It's normal to want to beat yourself up and wonder what you did wrong. But the truth is, you probably did nothing wrong.  There was "something" the recruiter liked better in someone else. It's nothing personal...

A better way to handle rejection? Be determined to bounce back.   Resilient people keep a positive, adaptable attitude when they fail. You must understand that success and rejection go hand-in-hand, and that you simply cannot advance if you are never rejected.

You must internalize these before you can move on:

1. It's NORMAL to feel down and depressed.

While you may think you were turned down because your resume wasn’t quite impressive enough, in reality the company could have made an internal hire or discontinued the job listing altogether.

Consider this an opportunity. Sure you didn't get your dream job...but how do you know it WAS a dream job?  You don't.  Instead, change the story you tell yourself  by creating a fresh opportunity to do even better next time. Similarly, resolve to find an even BETTER job and you will!

2. It’s Part of the Process

Rarely does anyone land every job they apply for.  Coming to grips with this fact and learning to accept rejection as part of the process will help build your mental and emotional steel.

Not expecting a guaranteed outcome, opens you up to other possibilities—other jobs, opportunities, and companies that could be an even better fit. 

3. Quit Overanalyzing

You can drive yourself crazy replaying the scene over and over again in your head, replaying the reasons you received a rejection. Stop stewing, it's time to charge forward to win that dream job.

Taking action is the very best strategy for leaving rejection behind. Resilient people often enlist others in their success, asking for feedback and help when they need it. When you've been turned down for a position, follow up with the hiring manager to ask how you can improve for the future. It might feel awkward, but sending a simple note asking how you could improve your interviewing skills or qualifications is actually common. Most hiring managers will respect your willingness to do better. And by doing so,  you’ll be able to position yourself to be a better candidate in the future.

4. Improve your Self-esteem.

If you find yourself constantly downplaying your wins and feeling like a failure, create a bragging list. Log all of your accomplishments and contributions, and develop a few key stories about times when you overcame an obstacle in the past. You might even be able to use these in a job interview if asked.  It will show you are a problem solver, not a whiner or complainer. So not only is it giving yourself credit and affirmation, you can use this in the future should you be asked that nebulous question - "what have you done....".


A job rejection might seem like the end of the world, it's not.  It’s an opportunity to learn more about yourself and the job search process and improve for the future.